My sleep has been dwindiling lately. Right down the drain. I don't know what it is, hoenstly. I just can't bring myself to sleep. And I hate it.
I finally got some sleep today, but it definitely wasn't good sleep. I had nightmares the entire time. Today, I dreamt that my dad and stepmom found out about my ED. In the dream, I wasn't sure how they found out but now that i'm back in reality, I know that the only way they COULD find out is my stepsister. (Really, all of this is irrelevant, my dad and stepmom have split.)
ANYWHO. In the dream, my stepmom was tripping out like I always imagined she would. She was slicing apples and cheese for me to eat. Of course I had to eat it. I was terrified!
Is it not insanity that i'm having nightmares about binging on apples and cheese? Just the thought of it makes me want to kill myself! Jeeze.
According to my DDR chart, I burned an obscene amount of calories today! Amazing. I just have to keep that up until our elipitcal machine comes. I wish it would hurry.
-Sigh.-
Going to see Ryan soon. I'm terribly anxious. He's beautiful.
Even more beautiful? The girl of my dreams.
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